INTRODUCTION

Hello fellow Zwifters!

Let us get properly introduced. I am Zwiftcruiser, your average Zwift cruiser. I live in Sweden. I like to ride my bike and to eat icecream. I like the color blue. Red is OK too.

A cruiser is a special form of cheater in Zwift races. Does that mean that I am a cheater? Yes, it does! And you should be one too!

There are many ways to cheat in Zwift, but I will consistently use one single method alone to cheat indiscriminately in order to get podium placings. I do so supported by Zwift race rules and ZwiftPower race rules.

As you see me line up next to you at the warmup before a race, I am out to steal your legitimate win and will try my best to do so. I saved a hammer just for you!

Why do I cheat? What is my motivation? You are going to have to figure that out yourself. Or create your own hypothetical explanation. In a sense, it really doesn't matter anyway. The only thing that matters is that I still can cheat, and some would say there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. 

See you out there in the next Zwift race!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

BORG CHARTING A CHEATER

Image
I was wreaking havoc on the official Zwift forum recently in the wake of this little study . A question that kept resurfacing in the discussion was whether it is really reasonable to assume that you can detect cheating (cruising) from just looking at a HR distribution chart. Coming from the outside it may indeed seem like a fair question. I would, however, like to argue that it is not, that you are missing the point. The point is that cruising is the HR distribution graph. You can't really detect it any other way, not even in theory. In fact, you can't really define it any other way. I will try to explain. But first one of those mandatory detours that come with this blog. I thought we would start off with discussing dead celebrities. Let's leave the boring Club 27 out of the picture for a change. But do you know who Borg was? No no, not that Borg. I am referring to Gunnar Borg, PhD MD and former Swedish professor in psychology.  I saw him in person a few times while he was
Read more

WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT WEIGHT DOPING

Image
You have probably already heard about weight doping. That by entering a deflated weight in your Zwift profile you will become faster since it will make your W/kg increase. And there is no one around to catch you red-handed if you do this smartly and only participate in everyday races. Only suckers who suddenly drop a nice even chunk, like 10 kg from one day to the next, will look suspicious. ZwiftPower will react to those and so will fellow racers who might be studying their ZwiftPower profiles. Zwift, however, will not react. You can enter any weight you like at any time. And if you race in the lower categories and make sure to decrease your weight in the profile gradually over time, as if you were on a diet, who would dare to call you a cheater? You were just getting fitter and slimmer! Weight doping, I would assume, could prove to be a big problem in the higher categories. In cat A you only stand to gain if you drop weight, one way or the other, as long as you don't get caught s
Read more

UPDATED: W/KG FAIL 2: THE LIGHT RIDER'S CURSE

The heavy rider's disadvantage You couldn't exactly call it unfair perhaps, but heavy riders suffer a disadvantage in Zwift races. The lighter riders have an easier time uphill and it is so hard to match the Watts needed to keep level with the lighter rider's W/kg there.  The above is a very common complaint on various Zwift forums. But is it true? I like to question those self-evident truths we all take for granted. If they are indeed truths then there is no harm in validating them. Sometimes, however, they turn out not to be true after all, once you actually take a serious look at them. So what about rider weight and race results in Zwift? Let's take one of those serious looks for a change instead of just passing on what some other guy said on the internet. The below is partly based on a discussion I was involved in on the official Zwift forum recently centered around what I like to call the Light Rider's Curse. The light rider's advantage Without any prior kn
Read more